Having a birthday always brings the nostalgic, year-in-review persona to the surface for me. Last year, when I turned 40, God gave me 3 words as a vision for what He desired from me. I've had to ask myself lately if I have seen any fruit borne in these areas of my life. Right now seems a difficult time to assess accurately as I have been in a desolate desert of spiritual dryness. What never ceases to amaze me is when I lift my tear-smudged, grubby-self-absorbed face to the heavens - even an inch - God floods me with the light of His grace and reminds me He has been close all along. I need only crack the door of my heart in soft submission to Him an inch. Charles Spurgeon wrote to me personally yesterday morning - how sweet of him, right? I'll share what he said to me on the pages of his devotional Morning and Evening:
“Looking unto Jesus.”
Hebrews 12:2
It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, “Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus.” All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that “Christ is all in all.” Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument—it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by “looking unto Jesus.” Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.
“My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness:
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”
Focused, Fruitful and Faithful will only be woven into the fabric of my life as I look to Jesus with gaze and affections unwavering - that is my prayer for 41...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
A Woman Who Fears the Lord
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30).
As I think back to the woman I was in college, this verse painfully yet accurately describes me. Operating on wit and outward appearances, I managed to convince myself and others I had it all together. But I was deceived. I was drowning in my sin with no idea what my lack of fearing the Lord had to do with my desolate heart.
Fear of the Lord is one of those Bible phrases that we throw around with very little grounding in the substance of our daily lives. It is defined as reverent awe or deep respect. Sounds great, but what does that look like day in and day out? If a woman deeply respects God, how does she live her daily life?
•First and foremost, she has a correct understanding of the character of God.
•She has searched the Scriptures for God’s definition of God and believes it.
•She has studied what God has revealed about Himself and relies upon this Truth rather than her experience of God.
•She accepts His holiness and His justice as completely good.
•She trusts in His mercy, grace, and compassion to deal with her sin and redeem her.
•She believes that His kindness is what leads her to repentance and as such, would never presume upon the riches of His grace by taking her sin lightly (Romans 2).
OUCH. There it is–the reason I blatantly and boldly lived a life of self-indulgence and sin despite the fact that I called myself a “Christian.” I pridefully and foolishly took advantage of the cross by saying to God, “thanks for your sacrifice, but I got it from here. Love that forgiveness thing! When I’m done having fun, I’ll be back with my long list of sins that I’ll need you to take care of.” In short, I was not a woman who feared the Lord.
But God has helped me become a woman who fears Him–a repentant woman who is deeply grateful for and moved by the cross of Christ. This does not mean being afraid to go near our Awesome and Mighty God:
•It means being terrified to be far from Him.
•It means resting in the safety and peace of His loving arms and not straying from that place of protection.
•It means running from the temptation to satisfy our needy hearts with someone or something other than Him.
•It means He alone is the influence in our lives, giving us wisdom to navigate each day (Proverbs 3:7, Prov 9:10).
•It means valuing what He values in a woman: a submissive heart, a gentle and quiet spirit, and a posture of worship.
As I think back to the woman I was in college, this verse painfully yet accurately describes me. Operating on wit and outward appearances, I managed to convince myself and others I had it all together. But I was deceived. I was drowning in my sin with no idea what my lack of fearing the Lord had to do with my desolate heart.
Fear of the Lord is one of those Bible phrases that we throw around with very little grounding in the substance of our daily lives. It is defined as reverent awe or deep respect. Sounds great, but what does that look like day in and day out? If a woman deeply respects God, how does she live her daily life?
•First and foremost, she has a correct understanding of the character of God.
•She has searched the Scriptures for God’s definition of God and believes it.
•She has studied what God has revealed about Himself and relies upon this Truth rather than her experience of God.
•She accepts His holiness and His justice as completely good.
•She trusts in His mercy, grace, and compassion to deal with her sin and redeem her.
•She believes that His kindness is what leads her to repentance and as such, would never presume upon the riches of His grace by taking her sin lightly (Romans 2).
OUCH. There it is–the reason I blatantly and boldly lived a life of self-indulgence and sin despite the fact that I called myself a “Christian.” I pridefully and foolishly took advantage of the cross by saying to God, “thanks for your sacrifice, but I got it from here. Love that forgiveness thing! When I’m done having fun, I’ll be back with my long list of sins that I’ll need you to take care of.” In short, I was not a woman who feared the Lord.
But God has helped me become a woman who fears Him–a repentant woman who is deeply grateful for and moved by the cross of Christ. This does not mean being afraid to go near our Awesome and Mighty God:
•It means being terrified to be far from Him.
•It means resting in the safety and peace of His loving arms and not straying from that place of protection.
•It means running from the temptation to satisfy our needy hearts with someone or something other than Him.
•It means He alone is the influence in our lives, giving us wisdom to navigate each day (Proverbs 3:7, Prov 9:10).
•It means valuing what He values in a woman: a submissive heart, a gentle and quiet spirit, and a posture of worship.
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