Surreal day. I attended a funeral of a distant relative with my mom and my sister. I didn't know Great Aunt Millie personally but she was a special lady to my mom and my mom is a special lady to me - so I went. The eerie calm of the chapel as we entered was punctuated by the open casket looming at the front of the room. I wasn't really prepared for how confronting a cold corpse that once held life could be. I sat quietly pondering the strange reality that death is an inevitable and certain event for all humans. But, unless forced to come face-to-face with it, I rarely consider its implications.
Today, avoid I could not.
I had many moments to dwell on mortality - mine and others. I paused my life long enough to realize that it's not death I am fearful of - IT'S LIFE.
I am a daughter of God, chosen by Him before the beginning of time. I KNOW where I am going when my time is up. My heavenly Father will be waiting for me with open arms because of the sacrifice of His Son.
What I DON'T KNOW is what is going to happen until then - in the gap between today and the termination of my days on this earth. My fears - big and little - consume my thoughts like hungry funeral reception attendees: Will we raise godly children? Will my Mom and Dad get to keep their house? Will family conflicts be resolved? Will my health give out soon?
The finality of death pushed me to the edge of my fears today - am I really living TODAY in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ? Do my fears of the unknowns of tomorrow or my faith in the One who has made Himself Known prevail?
Lord, may the confidence I have in my eternal destiny permeate my heart as I live out my days fully entrusting them to your Promises and Provision.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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