Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Ephesians 6:24 Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.

Corrupt: 1. Tainted 2. To lose purity or goodness.

I know a whole lot about corrupt love.

It was awoken in me as a 3 year old girl who had a God-given desire to be held and loved and protected. Sweet little Jenny had no understanding of the scars that were seared upon her soul in those early years of life. Such heavy burdens for a little heart to bear. I did hear of the loving God-man Jesus and wanted so badly to believe He could be for real - let alone love a dirty little girl like me. Sadly, the only definition of love and feelings of being special I knew had been stained throught the sin of another.

As a confused teen, the act of familiar "love" was coerced from me by selfish boys. The burning burden of shame that I carried eventually numbed my heart to the pain of my secrets. I lived out life in a detached and thoughtless fog of poor decisions and compromising positions. I knew I was grieving God but I felt trapped and at this point, I believed that love was destined to be dirty and wrong.

By my 20's, I was a hurting young woman who clothed my pain in a cloak of flirtacious, assertive moves toward men. I would "name and claim" a man and was rarely rebuffed. I erroneously believed that I was now in control of when and with whom I offered love. I would NOT let a man hurt me again. I felt powerful and powerless all at once. I met my would-be husband during this time and hoped that marrying a godly Christian man would purge the filth I felt associated with love. Could this finally be what I'd been looking for?

On August 14, 1993, Phil and I pledged our love before God and man. We really did love each other but the love we offered early on was tainted too. We were looking for the other to make us feel complete and loved unconditionally. We heaped onto each other expectations of selfless love while selfishly hoping for something more. Over time, God confronted both of us with the real and healing love of the Cross. We were both professing Christians with a Christian marriage but God had so much more for us to know about the height and depth and width of His love - we had barely scratched the surface. It was finally time to share with Phil the gut wrenching and heart breaking stories that had corrupted my understanding of Love and the Gospel. Jesus began redeeming love in my heart and my marriage.

The love that I had received and given was love based on selfish desires and lies, fleeting emotion and could be "fallen out of" as quickly as it had been pledged. True biblical love is unlike worldly love in every way. It is selfless, considering the object of its affections over itself. It is grounded in Truth, based on action and carried out despite how it feels. It is steadfast in every season and withstands every storm.

The Love that Jesus offers to His children is Incorruptible - not able to be defiled. It is pure, good and lovely. He doesn't just offer us love to ease our pain - He offers us Himself. A perfect, sinless life offered up to replace our imperfect, sin-filled lives. He is the source of Love Incorruptible. He is the reason for Love Incorruptible. He IS Love Incorruptible. We will receive His grace as we look to Him and love like Him - with love incorruptible.