Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A View from the Sideline

Psalm 37:7  Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him

Ugh.  Why is it that when God teaches you some profound and exciting new glimpse of Truth, He always allows for an opportunity to have that nugget of gold refined of its impurities? 

I was flying high yesterday, starting quarterback in the championship game of life (I've got to get away from these sports analogies - can you tell I have 4 brothers?)  I had Skillet's new song Awake and Alive cranked on my cassette player in my mini-van (the epitome of cool mom right there!) and I literally had goosebumps at the feeling of joy and alertness that I had for God and His goodness.  I had a wonderfully worshipful time at church, taught a class alongside my husband and grilled yummy quesadillas for my grateful kids.  Life was good and I was fully engaged.

I spent the rest of the evening with a friend who has experienced great trial and tragedy in her life over the last couple months.  Almost more than one person can rightly handle.  As she asked me HARD questions about God's character, my words felt hollow and inadequate.  I didn't know what to say to her to make the pain go away.  I flipped through my Bible and every word seemed trite and simplistic in the face of her suffering.  I left feeling heavy.

Phil came home late and I shared my burden with him.  He proceeded to tell me of an indiscretion that I had committed and explained there may be backlash from my careless words.  On top of feeling the weight of pain with my friend, I now had to battle the feelings of dread and shame over my sin.  Like the cartoon character that falls in the snow and rolls down the hill gathering speed and girth, I was careening out of control.  My firm grasp on God's glory from earlier in the day was slipping through my fingers.

After a brief and fitful night's sleep, I awoke with a sense of urgency.  I am out of the game - sidelined by my own swirling mass of fear, unbelief and doubt.  I went back to the only place I knew to turn - my Bible. 

How do I fight Lord? 
What do I do? 

As I flipped again through the pages, I noticed a recurring theme as I skimmed Psalms and Isaiah.  WAIT ON THE LORD.  What more can I offer my dear devastated sister?   What more can I do in a situation that may require repenting and reconciliation in the future?  The peace of God settled upon me and I once again entered His rest - I was back in the game - hoping in Him, believing in Him, waiting on Him to be our faithful Redeemer.

1 comment:

  1. As someone who has been going through a very difficult season, I highly recommend 'Hearing Jesus Speak Into Your Sorrow' by Nancy Guthrie. I picked it up after reading Wendy's blog. Not only does she speak truth, she hits just the right tone. She's gentle, but she's truthful. I don't know if you've read it or if it would be useful to your situation, but thought it was worth mentioning.

    You're not the only one using sports analogies... my husband used one to describe my season of life last night. lol!